Author: Willow Becker

Teacher Pay: Education’s Deplorable Word

It’s cliche to say that teachers aren’t appreciated. It’s barely worth mentioning that teachers promise to keep students safe, undergo thousands of hours of training, and manage hundreds of students each day – both educationally and physically. But, as requirements to be a good teacher escalate every year, administrative support and investment to hire excellent…
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Turning Holiday Hell Into a Heavenly Christmas: 25 Days of Disaster

Christmas is a funny holiday around the Willowsphere. I love it, don’t get me wrong, but there are stages of Christmas in my world that are fraught with their own peculiarities and dangers. This is the typical breakdown (both metaphorically and mentally) of how my holiday season looks. Nov. 28: OHMYGOSHCHRISTMASCHRISTMASCHRISTMASSSSSSSSS!! Nov. 29: Lights on…
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Missionary Jedi: Using the Force to Convert Ourselves and Love Better

  The Dark Side is infiltrating every part of our world. It’s slipping into our homes through television, Internet, and legislation. It’s squeezing our trained Jedi force and helping to extinguish formerly bright testimonies of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. We are sending out our new forces, but there are just too…
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“1 AM Night Terrors” or “My Brain Can Be Kind of a Dick”

As a part of my condition, I have nightmares. If you do a little online Interweb research, you’ll find that adults rarely have nightmares as compared to small children. In fact, the specific type of nightmares I have, night terrors, are only experienced by 6.4% children and 2.2% of adults. You have a better chance getting…
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Life, Happiness, & Joy. Cuz one of ’em’s totally fake.

I’m one of these weird writing people that loves math. Seriously. Whereas writing is about the ability to perfectly define with words, math is about perfectly defining with numbers. And, unlike language, it is almost impossible to misconstrue an equation. No marriage has ever been ended because 24x + 14 = 50. Although math has…
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To the Virgins: Sisterly Advice for Your Wedding Night

This post is for people who are about to have sex for the first time, or who would like to hilariously remember all the things they wished they’d known the first time they had sex. If you’re not prepared to read about either of those things, here’s a fun alternative activity! Wow! You’re really going…
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No. I am not drunk. I’m just inappropriate.

Even though I’m a Mormon, I still get asked sometimes if I drink. As many of my religion would respond, I don’t participate in traditional beverages intended to loosen the inhibitions and make the world look fuzzy. But, I do like to hang out with drunk people in bars. Bar people are my kind of…
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How to Capture and Care For a Unicorn: A Guaranteed 5-Step Method

My brother is single and upwards of 30. This is not a problem, really. Lots of people get married later in life. Indeed, being married is not the end-all be-all of existence. But, I have a feeling he would like to find someone to love forever. Someone beautiful, funny, interesting, creative…someone that is exceptionally rare and…
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3 Shocking Secrets of the Mormon Church

I’m sure from the outside, I don’t seem very standard when it comes to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I’m a writer (a horror writer at the current moment), I have one child, and my house is a constant disaster. When people find out that I’m Mormon, they don’t say, “Oh, I…
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The Not-So-Miserable

As many of you know, I grew up on stage. In fact, I was literally formed because of musical theater. That might be too much deep doctrine for you to handle, but it’s the truth. If it wasn’t for one very ill-fated (well-fated? We’ll never know for sure) production of The Magic Flute, it’s likely…
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13 Things I’ve Done Instead of Blogging

  You may be wondering where I’ve been for the past 2 months. Well, there are literally too many things going on to even begin talking to you about them. That’s why I haven’t been blogging about them. Because I love you, I’m going to give you the blogging-friendly version of the craziness my life…
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Commencement: Reflections on High School and Life School

This weekend, my sister graduated high school. She looked beautiful. Bright red dress, empire waistline, thick black belt. Purple cap. She was so grown up. 17 years ago, I was at my mother’s side, watching her be born. I, myself, had graduated high school just a few months before. And now, 17 years gone. The…
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