Author: Willow Becker

The 7 Songs That Make Me Want to Eat Ice Cream Naked

Hey, guess what everyone? I finished a story!! YAY for ME!! It is pretty bad, but it is totally done, so I am feeling pretty good about myself right now. To celebrate, I thought I would treat you to a little audio party that I put together for you. I have been thinking about it…
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Will the Real Willow Please Stand Up?

I am definitely intimidated by you, you sneaky dogs. Every time I have thought about writing a new post I have given myself the willies. It is a little intimidating to write for people I SO want to make laugh (and impress, obviously), but I just don’t have the kind of resources to do it…
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Secret Order of the Indent: What They Don’t Tell You About Marriage

Recently, a good friend of mine was married in the beautiful Colorado summer sun. Of course, you couldn’t really tell, what with all the hellfire and damnation that seemed to perpetrate the burning skyline. They say that it’s bad luck to have good weather on your wedding, right? If that’s the case, they are going…
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The Brain Pub

Oh, my beautiful internetees. How I have disappointed you. Yeah, I know you have been clamoring for my latest post just like deprived children seeking Cap n’ Crunchberries. I am just in such a darn bad mood that I’m having a hard time thinking one up. First, I thought I would really get personal and…
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A Duck Poop Kind of Life

I, like many sentient beings, have a thing about standing water.  I think that if something smells like poop, looks like poop, and is obviously made of hundreds of years of things pooping in it, it should probably be avoided. As far as fears go, this is one of the lesser ones.  There are so…
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Being Crazy 101

One of the questions I never get asked is, “What is it like to be crazy?” Well, I am going to try to explain it to you because I have a sneaking suspicion that is what everyone would LIKE to be asking me if they didn’t feel so self-conscious about it. Being crazy is like…
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Ode To Recess

Wall ball. Handball. Whatever you call it, I know that suddenly you are back on the playground, just like I was when I walked by a group of 9-year-old boys hitting that big red ball at the park the other day. I remember that recess was the magical moment of every day of elementary school.  However, the games…
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The Enemy – A Ballet Story

When I was in high school, I attended a very prestigious dance academy. It was a place designed for ballet dancers that would eventually audition for the Oregon Ballet. I remember that the place looked like a house on the outside, but on the inside it was obviously a machine for making carbon copies of…
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Truths Mirrors Tell

Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know. When Keats was writing these words, I am sure he was talking about the transcendentalist notion that life is fleeting and so you must eat of the beauty of the moment (since that’s all you really get anyway).…
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Amoebas Riding Dinos

A few nights ago I was getting ready for bed and I had this wonderful thing I wanted to tell you about.  I know it was brilliant because I wrote myself a little note of talking points. I don’t know how much of this you can read, but the word “Amoeba” is definitely included. Nonetheless,…
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Fair Weather

The first fair I ever went to was in a town called Irrigon, Oregon.  It was basically in the middle of nowhere, actually in the Oregon desert, which most people don’t believe exists.  Even the major cities around Irrigon brought blank, frightened stares from generational Oregonians.  For that reason, every time someone asked where I…
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Gardens. Period.

Now, I don’t know what it’s like for the rest of you, but as soon as I start feeling like I want to simultaneously cry and kill someone, I know that I have about 3 days left before the Red Thunder arrives.  I only mention that right now because I am definitely feeling a raging…
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