They both require a helmet. Both are necessary for rockin’ birthday party. Wearing either makes a unique fashion statement. None of these are the correct answer, although I really appreciate your unique sense of reality. How do you function in normal society, again? Yesterday, I decided it would be really fun to have a total…
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Oh, my beautiful internetees. How I have disappointed you. Yeah, I know you have been clamoring for my latest post just like deprived children seeking Cap n’ Crunchberries. I am just in such a darn bad mood that I’m having a hard time thinking one up. First, I thought I would really get personal and…
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I, like many sentient beings, have a thing about standing water. I think that if something smells like poop, looks like poop, and is obviously made of hundreds of years of things pooping in it, it should probably be avoided. As far as fears go, this is one of the lesser ones. There are so…
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A few nights ago I was getting ready for bed and I had this wonderful thing I wanted to tell you about. I know it was brilliant because I wrote myself a little note of talking points. I don’t know how much of this you can read, but the word “Amoeba” is definitely included. Nonetheless,…
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The first fair I ever went to was in a town called Irrigon, Oregon. It was basically in the middle of nowhere, actually in the Oregon desert, which most people don’t believe exists. Even the major cities around Irrigon brought blank, frightened stares from generational Oregonians. For that reason, every time someone asked where I…
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Now, I don’t know what it’s like for the rest of you, but as soon as I start feeling like I want to simultaneously cry and kill someone, I know that I have about 3 days left before the Red Thunder arrives. I only mention that right now because I am definitely feeling a raging…
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As we were driving back from my parents’ house in Coos Bay, I got a couple of fruit roll-ups for my family. Fruit roll-ups are amazing in that they have almost as many flavors as Jelly Bellies nowadays. Abigail picked hers out, and I picked a few out for me. As soon as we got…
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