I, like many sentient beings, have a thing about standing water. I think that if something smells like poop, looks like poop, and is obviously made of hundreds of years of things pooping in it, it should probably be avoided. As far as fears go, this is one of the lesser ones. There are so…
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One of the questions I never get asked is, “What is it like to be crazy?” Well, I am going to try to explain it to you because I have a sneaking suspicion that is what everyone would LIKE to be asking me if they didn’t feel so self-conscious about it. Being crazy is like…
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Wall ball. Handball. Whatever you call it, I know that suddenly you are back on the playground, just like I was when I walked by a group of 9-year-old boys hitting that big red ball at the park the other day. I remember that recess was the magical moment of every day of elementary school. However, the games…
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When I was in high school, I attended a very prestigious dance academy. It was a place designed for ballet dancers that would eventually audition for the Oregon Ballet. I remember that the place looked like a house on the outside, but on the inside it was obviously a machine for making carbon copies of…
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Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know. When Keats was writing these words, I am sure he was talking about the transcendentalist notion that life is fleeting and so you must eat of the beauty of the moment (since that’s all you really get anyway).…
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A few nights ago I was getting ready for bed and I had this wonderful thing I wanted to tell you about. I know it was brilliant because I wrote myself a little note of talking points. I don’t know how much of this you can read, but the word “Amoeba” is definitely included. Nonetheless,…
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The first fair I ever went to was in a town called Irrigon, Oregon. It was basically in the middle of nowhere, actually in the Oregon desert, which most people don’t believe exists. Even the major cities around Irrigon brought blank, frightened stares from generational Oregonians. For that reason, every time someone asked where I…
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Now, I don’t know what it’s like for the rest of you, but as soon as I start feeling like I want to simultaneously cry and kill someone, I know that I have about 3 days left before the Red Thunder arrives. I only mention that right now because I am definitely feeling a raging…
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It is definitely 3:33 in the afternoon. Halfway to hell. Did you know that showers are a relatively novel idea? For a long time, the only people who were found putting themselves under running water were mountain men and witches. I suppose that I justify myself, as I have not yet brushed my teeth or…
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As we were driving back from my parents’ house in Coos Bay, I got a couple of fruit roll-ups for my family. Fruit roll-ups are amazing in that they have almost as many flavors as Jelly Bellies nowadays. Abigail picked hers out, and I picked a few out for me. As soon as we got…
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