No one sleeps at a sleepover. Now that I am on the other side of 30, I can clearly see that sleepovers were invented by the Devil. I mean, what good, uplifting stuff happens at a sleepover? Unless you count the transcendental feeling of flying that is induced by 48 hours with no sleep and…
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Here’s what they don’t tell you at crazy-camp: being crazy sucks. My blog has turned out to be kind of a weird format where I write stuff that I think is kind of funny or interesting, but not much about what is happening in my life. It works for me, because my life is limitlessly…
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Sometimes I hear a song that makes me wonder how you’d dance. Would you smile or laugh or sing it in a drunken trance? Does you heart beat fast against a girl who looks like me? Do you dare when you’re alone to touch those ancient memories? There are secrets that I keep for both…
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There is an innate human need for ownership. We are driven to purchase and acquire things that are uniquely ours. I think this is the reason why marriage has become so popular. Why else would a woman or man knowingly sign up for a lifetime of unflushed toilets and arguments over how to insert a…
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With all the emphasis on “healthy living” and “detoxifying” our lives, I know that it is tempting to stop eating all the crap that is the God-given right of any American citizen. I actually have a friend who has been drinking green water for the last month. “It’s a cleanse,” she tells me. My thought…
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Rainbows are incredible, you know? They are this amazing thing that combines water and sunlight to create the perfect, ultimate spectrum of color. If you ever just sit and look at one, you’ll see that there are the simple colors (red, purple, yellow), but also infinite gradations of colors within colors. It’s no wonder God…
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Since I am up and not writing for money, I am going to consider this next post “honing my craft”. That’s what I tell myself I am doing when I am really just randomly writing words until something comes along to distract me, such as my house on fire. Or candy. I have a pug.…
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I have now been a SAH mom for over a year. Whew! What an exciting anniversary. To celebrate, I think I will go and do some victory dishes. My attitude has changed a lot in a year. I remember last year, at almost exactly this same time, I was so pumped about getting to stay…
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Music people are addicts of the worst sort. They hear their drug everywhere and it annoys everyone around them ceaselessly. These are the people who can’t be left alone with a piano. I am a music person. A singer, to be exact. I’ve been singing since before I could speak. And yet, I didn’t realize…
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I was on Facebook this morning, which is actually quite rare for me nowadays, and I saw a good friend’s status update. It simply read, “Craving adventure.” In my life, I have been the kind of person who would make this a permanent tattoo if given the choice. My whole life seems to be a…
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Whew!! What a marathon of writing! I have been diligently working on my book, “The Neverending Story of Eternal Suckage” and feel that I am getting incredibly close to the final product. So far, I have been able to get my heroine across the bottom of the ocean, into a secret city, and almost to…
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What I realized, sadly, is that you will keep coming to my blog whether or not I update it. What is even sadder is that you are still just coming to look at my hot cheerleader pictures and goggle over my ranch dressing photos. The internet is a strange bedfellow, let me tell you. In…
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